Willow Bochujuest and the Creepy Case of the Car, the Can, and the Cup

By Willa Howard

It was late. I was finishing my oh-so-exciting paper work, and had found out that writing with a broken pencil was pointless, when I heard a car pull up outside. My office door slammed open and a burly figure stocked in. I recognized him as Jacques El Linguinno, who owned a barley farm not far down the road. He had lately been picked on by all the havoc, trouble making makers in the area, so I was not surprised to see him in need of help.

Jacques El Linguinno stamped up to my desk and banged down the object he was holding, “Do you know what this is?”

I set down my paper work more than happily, glad for a case. Sitting back in my chair, and resting my boots on my desktop, I peered up into Linguinno’s face, studying his familiar features (which were, by the way, quite scary looking. It was the goatee). “It’s a roll of toilet paper,” I observed, changing my gaze to Jacques’s possession on my desk. “You knew that, right?”

“Exactly.”

“And?”

“I was attacked.”

“Attacked?” I asked critically.

“Attacked,” Jacques affirmed.

“Sit down and explain further,” I indicated a seat and he took it, quickly launching into his story:

“It was a late Sunday night; I was over at the Love’em’s delivering some produce. And you know how they are, so nice ta talk to, and they were making milk shakes, so I thought I’d stop and stay a minute. Well, when I finally got up to go I found my truck wrapped in THIS!” Linguinno pointed an accusing figure at the clean, white toilet paper roll. 

This was more serious than I had suspected. Cars wrapped in toilet paper was serious mischievousness, farther than I thought any trouble making makers would go…Yet I remembered one trouble making maker I had met once (or several times) that would do such a thing.

“I know who it was,” my trance of thought was broken by Jacques input.

“Who?”

“They’ve picked on me before! I know it must be them!” Jacques shouted, jumping up and slapping a hand down on my desk.

“Linguinno,” I snapped my figure and pointed at his chair, “Sit down.”

Grumpily he obeyed.

“Tell me simply. Who was it?”

“It’s a group of girls, I’m sure of it.”

I nodded, he could be right, and, most likely was.

“They are led by Dare-oline, who dares to do everything daring. Especially daring do’s against me,” Jacques said in a whisper, trying to add gravity to what he was saying. 

He had hit the mark. My sentiments were exactly the same. Dare-oline had picked on many people, including those who were now in her havoc, trouble making makers group. Dare-oline dared to do everything, and this was exactly her style of fight picking (which honestly was all the havoc, trouble making makers wanted. Feuding and pranks were what they were best at… And I myself was fairly good at it.) “I’ll take your case,” I said after this moment of contemplation, “Though; there is not much I can do.”

“Thanks,” Linguinno grinned, “I knew you would understand.”

Inwardly I smiled, yes I understood. I understood both sides. “But…A…what exactly do you want me to do?”

“Keep an ear and an eye out for any goings-on of Dare-oline’s,” he said, mad revenge sparkling in his eyes.

I smiled and sent him on his way. Don’t worry, I told him inside myself, I’ll keep two ears and eyes out for them, very close ears and eyes. Once he was gone I sat back down at my desk and contemplated a moment, only a moment though, because my mind had been made up within that moment. I believed it was time to go and see my old friends Tattlegail, and Dare-oline…

Grabbing my fedora and coat I dashed out the door, jumped on my bike and raced down the road. It was Saturday night, Dare-oline would be making cappuccinos and Tattlegail would probably be there. Perfect…

I arrived within minutes, and knocked. Gail opened the door.

“Oh wow! Willowfear!” she cried happily, letting me in, “Dare-oline! It’s Willow Bochujuest!”

Out of the kitchen thundered one of my best friends. “Hey Dare-oline!” I laughed, hugging her. “What’s new?”

“We thought you would have heard about it by now,” Dare-oline said.

“Oh I did,” I smiled, “I just wanted the behind-the-scenes version.”

“It was actually just Dare-oline,” Gail said.

“Actually,” explained Dare-oline, “it was a joint effort. Carelaney was visiting so we decided to get something together. Honestly, we just couldn’t resist.”

“Nice,” I grinned. I wondered if Linguinno knew Carelaney had been in town when the deed had been done… So, Dare-oline and Carelaney were working together. This could get bad.

I sighed and told the truth, “He knows you girls did it,” our group fell silent.

“So?” Tattlegail grinned all of a sudden.

“We know,” Dare-oline grinned too. 

We all sat down around the kitchen, waiting for Dare-oline to finish making the cappuccinos. “Any more ideas?” I asked.

“Ideas for Jacques you mean?” Tattlegail asked. “Not really. Our toilet paper stock ran out when we did his truck.”

“I see,” said I, “Alright, what about funny threat notes? Spraying his car with Enchanted Orchid?”

“Oh, no, Derby already sprayed Jacques himself enough. Though, not for us,” Dare-oline replied.

“Oh. Was Derby in town too?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Alright, how about silly-string?” I dug into my bag and pulled out my cans of prank-pulling silly-string. Deducing from the girls beaming countenance that they portrayed I conceived they relished the conception. 

“Now you’re talkin’” Dare-oline smiled mischievously as she always did, sliding me a cup full of cappuccino.

“Okay,” Tattlegail grinned, “When, where, and how?”

“Don’t look at me, you girls are the masterminds,” I said. “I only have enough cans for two, so just the two of you will be able to do it. I’ll be third on the mission. You know, your look out.”

“Great!” they said in unison.

So far so good, I thought.

“How’s this,” Tattlegail looked dramatically around the group, “We’ll get Ken’n, during one of the weekend how-downs, to go tell Jacques to look at his truck, because supposedly we did something to it. But when he comes out, we spray him!”

“I’m in,” Dare-oline agreed.

“Totally,” I grinned. This was gonna be good.  

The plan worked…Mostly. That double, double crossing Ken’n betrayed us and told Jacques to look out because he was going to be ambushed. Thankfully he didn’t believe her; at least, I don’t think he did. I kept look out for the girls. If he saw me, all the better now I wouldn’t be in such a big mix-up. When he came out, Dare-oline and Tattlegail ambushed him, me keeping my distance. Well they got him good, and he got them good too. Jacques had grabbed the can of silly-string out of Gail’s hands and began spraying her, and the Dare-oline. Over all it was a topsy-turvy mess. 

“Now, our cover is blown we might as well make the most of it,” I reasoned. Dare-oline and Gail agreed. So we went inside, sat down behind Jacques, and waited for the opportune moment to strike. It came several times, but neither Gail or I had the guts to do what we were going to do. We were going to “take” Jacques cup and hide it! Finally Dare-oline did the deed. While Jacques wasn’t looking she grabbed his cup, threw it to Tattlegail, who raced outside with it, Dare-oline and myself hard on her heels. 

“Now what do I do with it?” Gail giggled.

“Yeah, where should we put it?” I insisted, laughing loudly.  

“Somewhere high up,” Dare-oline dared, giggling girlishly.

“Oh, no,” Gail said, still giggling, “how about the ice maker.”

“Yeah,” Dare-oline and I beamed in unison.

“Okay,” Tattlegail held the cup out to me, “Your turn.”

“What? Oh fine,” I couldn’t resist. Taking the cup I stashed it in my bag, ran inside, grabbed a cup, went inconspicuously to the ice maker, (Dare-oline and Gail watching from the window) scooped ice into my cup, stashed Jacques cup inside and dashed back outside. We couldn’t stop laughing. 

Well, I told myself, The Creepy Case of the Car, the Can, and the Cup is closed. I definitely knew who did it, and hopefully by now Jacques would have caught on.

That had been so much fun and I couldn’t wait till our next prank-pulling night… :D